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Girls Guide to Dating a Vampire

Spotting a Vampire

• Beware of “dark & mysterious” vampire wannabe’s. Fakes are almost always incredibly needy. If his hands aren’t corpse-cold, run.

• Vampire’s are older than they appear, sometimes even ancient. The way they talk will hint of another time in a far away place.

• Vampire’s often hang out with pulsed people, trying to fit in. Look for the guy in the group that is quiet, confident, and wearing bronzer to hide his pale complexion.

• Vampire’s rarely display their power. Look for the boys who go out of their way to show you how strong they are, and cross them off the list.

• Make eye contact with possible vampires. If his gaze gives you shivers, there’s a strong possibility he is a vampire.

Courting a Vampire

• Being popular and trendy is a sure turn-off for vampires, so don’t try to fit in or be liked. Create your own style.

• Don’t wear a crucifix around your neck. It’ll only ruin a good hug. And don’t keep pencils behind your ear. But keep one in your purse, just in case.

• Do not throw yourself at a vampire. It’s a sure way to get the blood sucked out without so much as a discussion about the possibility of immortality.

• Vampire’s love a challenge. Show some interest and then back off.

• Let him be the expert on historical facts. They’ve usually had first hand experiences that are much more accurate than your history books.

• Make sure your vampire isn’t one that fully accepts his nature. If he isn’t majorly conflicted in some way, run.

Dating a Vampire

Vampires feed on the blood of the living, so always go out in public until you are absolutely sure you can trust him.

When eating out with your vampire, don’t put garlic on your pizza. In fact, give up garlic altogether.

Don’t expect a vampire to make the first move. When the time is right you’ll know. Be brave.

Many vampires can read minds. Try not to obsess about what you really want to do with him.

Remember: Feeding is not cheating.

Vampires are strong, moody, and undead. Give him some space when he needs it.

Get used to sleeping all day.

If a vampire tries to kiss you when he’s angry, run.

Going Immortal

Never ask a vampire if you can become immortal. It’s unbecoming.

The process of becoming immortal is extremely painful. If you don’t think you can handle it, you probably shouldn’t have dated a vampire to begin with.

If a vampire asks you to join him in immortality and you’re not interested, run.