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Girls Guide to Dating a Vampire

Girls Guide to Dating a Vampire

24″ x 36″ Poster

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Girls Guide to Dating a Vampire

Spotting a Vampire

• Beware of “dark & mysterious” vampire wannabe’s. Fakes are almost always incredibly needy. If his hands aren’t corpse-cold, run.

• Vampire’s are older than they appear, sometimes even ancient. The way they talk will hint of another time in a far away place.

• Vampire’s often hang out with pulsed people, trying to fit in. Look for the guy in the group that is quiet, confident, and wearing bronzer to hide his pale complexion.

• Vampire’s rarely display their power. Look for the boys who go out of their way to show you how strong they are, and cross them off the list.

• Make eye contact with possible vampires. If his gaze gives you shivers, there’s a strong possibility he is a vampire.

Courting a Vampire

• Being popular and trendy is a sure turn-off for vampires, so don’t try to fit in or be liked. Create your own style.

• Don’t wear a crucifix around your neck. It’ll only ruin a good hug. And don’t keep pencils behind your ear. But keep one in your purse, just in case.

• Do not throw yourself at a vampire. It’s a sure way to get the blood sucked out without so much as a discussion about the possibility of immortality.

• Vampire’s love a challenge. Show some interest and then back off.

• Let him be the expert on historical facts. They’ve usually had first hand experiences that are much more accurate than your history books.

• Make sure your vampire isn’t one that fully accepts his nature. If he isn’t majorly conflicted in some way, run.

Dating a Vampire

Vampires feed on the blood of the living, so always go out in public until you are absolutely sure you can trust him.

When eating out with your vampire, don’t put garlic on your pizza. In fact, give up garlic altogether.

Don’t expect a vampire to make the first move. When the time is right you’ll know. Be brave.

Many vampires can read minds. Try not to obsess about what you really want to do with him.

Remember: Feeding is not cheating.

Vampires are strong, moody, and undead. Give him some space when he needs it.

Get used to sleeping all day.

If a vampire tries to kiss you when he’s angry, run.

Going Immortal

Never ask a vampire if you can become immortal. It’s unbecoming.

The process of becoming immortal is extremely painful. If you don’t think you can handle it, you probably shouldn’t have dated a vampire to begin with.

If a vampire asks you to join him in immortality and you’re not interested, run.

20 Responses to 'Girls Guide to Dating a Vampire'

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  1. Mantis said,

    on February 22nd, 2010 at 3:26 pm

    Vampires are cool.

  2. Anna Cullen said,

    on April 25th, 2010 at 4:23 am

    I LOVE VAMPIRES. I’m actually dating one and these tips helped. hehehe

  3. Andrea said,

    on April 26th, 2010 at 5:32 pm

    This would be a lot better if apostrophes were used correctly.

  4. Mantis said,

    on May 3rd, 2010 at 5:52 am

    I apologize for any typographical errors. If the poster is a success, I will surely fix them on the next printing.

  5. Kaila Cullen said,

    on August 3rd, 2010 at 8:07 am

    This poster is AMAZING. I bought it for a friend of mine, and she Laughed. She Said “Whoever made this poster is my F**king Hero.” So I went and bought one for myself.

  6. Mantis said,

    on August 3rd, 2010 at 11:43 am


  7. nausheen said,

    on August 7th, 2010 at 10:28 pm

    the poster’s awesome! tips are great! i’d love to have a vampire to use them on! do vampires exist? if yes, i’d love to meet one! plz!

  8. on September 1st, 2010 at 4:41 am

    Good evening there, I just felt the urge to tell you how cool this blog is!

  9. on January 15th, 2011 at 3:28 pm

    Great dating advice. As someone who is re-entering the dating world after being away for a few years, I really appreciate your helpful post. Thanks.

  10. Estellie Dawnet robisonell said,

    on July 3rd, 2011 at 10:58 am


  11. on July 3rd, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    hellloooooo u there

  12. on July 3rd, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    hello r u there

  13. Mantis said,

    on July 5th, 2011 at 7:30 am

    Thanks for the accuracy report. Very, VERY much obliged..

  14. omg said,

    on July 29th, 2011 at 5:00 pm

    Love the poster… is this for real?? Vampire’s I checked last time were a myth. Not trying to be rude… but are they real? Inquiring minds wants to know…

  15. Valentina said,

    on November 4th, 2011 at 1:14 pm

    Cool Bloqq , I Wonder If Vampires Actually Do Exist Tho , I hope So , This Info Is Actually Similar To The Twiliqht Series , Weird

  16. shaikha said,

    on February 24th, 2012 at 8:46 am

    This is reely cool i live in United Arub Emirate it is always sunny there and summer it can get reeely hot but thank god it is winter right now even in winter its still sunney so there is a 0%precent chance a vampire is living there and i would love it if i colud meet a vampire.

  17. lauren said,

    on February 29th, 2012 at 7:42 pm

    okay i really like this poster it reminds me of the times my mom used to call me a vampire because i was the only pale one on her sides of the family and no matter how many times we go to the beach (cause we live in texas where the wheather is weird) i would always stay pale she says i get it from my dad who i think is really pale cause it looked like it in his profil pic on facebook <<< wow i write alot :)

  18. John said,

    on September 2nd, 2012 at 3:56 pm

    This poster is pure genious! XP

  19. Alaundra said,

    on September 7th, 2012 at 4:41 am

    My class has one cute boy and his name is louis. All the stuff on vampires traits louis so i was dating a vampire sweet!

  20. Sally said,

    on October 16th, 2012 at 7:30 am

    I lv this poster, it’s really superly great!!!!!!!!

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